All posts by Lindsay

Make Orgasm Noises While You Eat

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No, seriously. Try it. We all know that slowing down, chewing our food and breathing in between bites helps us eat less food and be more present during meals, but even focusing on being present can sometimes feel like a chore. “I don’t WANT to slow down,” I hear all the time. Well, guess what — if you don’t want to do something, you’re not gonna do it very long. Sorry, your food habits are way too deeply ingrained.  If you want to make a change  to your “diet,” it better be FUN.  That’s right, the F-word, FUN.

Ooh-ing and ah-ing over mouthfuls serves two primary functions. First of all, it’s ridiculous — those of us that struggle with food and weight worries tend to take eating waaaay too seriously. RELAX already!

Secondly, eating mindfully doesn’t need to turn into another “should.”  ENJOY that cheesecake sliding down your throat.  Let it be sexy!  I dare you to sit down in the privacy of your own home, and taste your food like it’s the first time…  

Bottom Line:  If you can’t enjoy your food, it will never lose its grip on you.

There is No “Answer”

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FYI Shit is about to get emo.

For the majority of my adult life, I’ve lived my life around food thinking to myself “I just need to find the answer.”  What will it be?  Is it Weight Watchers?  Overeaters Anonymous?  Intuitive Eating?  What IS IT ALREADY???? I”M READY TO BE THIN NOW THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

And then one day it occurred to me, “what if there is no answer?”  What if the “answer” is “no answer?”  What would that mean??  How would that inform my choices around food?

It would mean I’d never have to binge again, because something I’m doing with food isn’t working.  It would mean there are no mistakes.  It would mean every day I can wake up and make choices freely, to eat more or to eat less.  It would mean the search is over, and the pressure’s off.  It would mean I could relax knowing there is nothing wrong with me.

Maybe today I will fly by the seat of my pants.  Maybe today I will make no plans, but to love and nourish myself appropriately at any present moment (with food or without).

Things To Do… Other Than Food

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When we’re really deep in the food and weight haze, it can be hard to remember that we actually have other legitimate interests outside of trying to lose weight or trying to (not) eat whatever the fuck we’re obsessed with at that very moment. When I feel the food and weight thoughts starting to choke me, like I can’t even think about anything else for more than 10 seconds, I do a quick stream-of-consciousness style mind game where I think of 5 non-food-related activities I legitimately enjoy, just to remind myself that I do in fact have interests (and a life) outside of all the silly food noise.

Quick! Think of five non-food related things you like to do right now! GO

Here are mine:

reading magazines (the top shelf kind)
HBO On Demand
making playlists
youporn-ing
stalking myself on facebook (I am soo pretty)

your turn.

How to Know If You’re “Doing It Right”

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When you’re learning a new skill, it’s pretty normal to want reassurance that you’re “doing it right,” even around something as definitively imperfect as intuitive eating.  I’m sure many of you are out there REALLY struggling not to weigh yourself, desperately wanting to judge your progress, and see if this intuitive eating thing is really worth your time.

I get it – this is a totally normal “old” thought pattern.  We are all looking for excuses to judge ourselves and the world around us all the time, and it’s a slow process to break that mental model.

In the meantime, here are some questions to pull out when you think to yourself “is this working?” or “is all this loving myself just making me fatter?”

Here’s how you know you’re on the right track:

  1. You love yourself more, so you’re just plain old happier most of the time.
  2. You accept dinner invitations, unless you have another legitimate conflict.
  3. You have awesome clothes that you love wearing in public (and you regularly take more pride in your appearance).
  4. Being naked is more fun, with a partner or alone.
  5. You generally experience more pleasure and joy (i.e. you pay attention to what’s actually happening in your life). Yay.

Here’s how you DON’T know you’re on the right track (i.e. benchmarks that are irrelevant):

  1. You weigh more or less than you used to (or stayed the same)
  2. You have more control over your own behavior (i.e. improved “willpower”)
  3. You have things you think you should (boyfriend, job, apartment in tribeca).
  4. Your mother thinks “you’re doing so well!”
  5. You weigh more or less than you used to (this one merits repetition).

These benchmarks (although some may be nice) are NOT actually a marker that you are happy, joyous, or free from obsessive food and weight thoughts.  From today forward, your “progress” is a function of how you feel about yourself, not by external measurement.

Remember, self-judgment is product of your imagination.  If you’re going to play make believe, wouldn’t it be more fun to play “I love myself and my life is awesome” than to play “My life sucks and I’m too fat to be loved?”

You literally get to choose between these two games everyday.  Your choice.