1. Remember that you’re a fucking genius, hysterically funny and really popular.
2. Get super dressed up and spend an inordinate amount of time on your hair and makeup, just to go get groceries or perform other mundane tasks.
3. Remember Jock Jams? from the 90s? Spotify that shit and get down in your bedroom.  Like, seriously, shake it.
4. Make a list of 10 things you want to do before you die, and indulge the most exciting one you can come up with.  That may mean taking ONE action step towards achieving the goal of your choice (e.g. if you want to sing at Carnegie Hall, start practicing your scales).
5. Masturbate.  Regularly.  (or have sex, whichevs)
6. Wrap your body head-to-toe in something hyper-comfortable, like warm bath water, fresh sheets or maybe an old cashmere Juicy jumpsuit?  Remember those?  I’m 90s-reminiscing like whoa.
7. Name five genuine interests you hold, other than food and weight loss.  Seriously, five.  Are you having trouble?  Think harder.
8. Just for a moment, pretend that God is a fact.  Does he give a shit about your weight?  I mean, come on.  What other gifts has the Universe bestowed upon you, lucky girl?   
9. http://www.burlesquebikinibootcamp.com/
10. Imagine someone in your life that loves you totally unconditionally.  Is it a parent? A sibling?  That nerdy boy that had a HUGE crush on you in 7th grade?  (And let’s be real, he probably still loves you, that shit never dies).  Close your eyes and imagine looking at yourself through their eyes.

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Why your fear of getting (or staying) fat is keeping you that way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dIN7nC8CP0&feature=youtu.be

I have bad news.  You will have to deal with your shit, before you have a shot in hell at eating like a normal person.  Seriously.  If you think you can “make the right choices” around food without addressing the underlying reasons you’re eating, you are in full-blown emotional eating delusion. Don’t even bother addressing the food head on.  It’s a waste of your energy.  There is no point in trying to figure out how to stop eating, before trying to figure out why you’re eating.  By definition, a compulsion is an overwhelming feeling that one must participate in a certain act – the operative word here being “Overwhelming.”  Your willpower probably won’t hold out for long against its force.

If you are prone to compulsive eating, telling yourself not to eat a certain way, or planning to “control yourself” around food without actively addressing the reasons you’re eating is kind of a joke. It is highly unlikely that you will be able to beat the compulsion head on.  You have no choice, but to identify and resolve what is driving your compulsion, or you will eventually come to the point where the act that you are avoiding is so overwhelming that you cannot help but succumb to its call.

Sooo why again are you still trying to “control yourself” around food?  Seriously, stop.  You’re just creating more anxiety for yourself that you’ll probably end up eating over.  The much more effective way to eat less is to explore what’s driving your compulsion (is it your self-criticism? your stressful work life?  The anxiety-provoking 2^nd date you’re about to go on?).  Deal with THAT head on to the best of your ability (which, like eating, you will never do perfectly – I know, it sucks) and you might find yourself one day become hungry out of nowhere.  Just like that, when you weren’t even thinking about it.  You won’t even have to try to restrain yourself – it will just happen. 

So if you want to stop stress eating, for instance, take one concrete action today to CHILL OUT.  Get a massage or make some mocktails and listen to Bob Marley.  Do you think you can stop eating without having the uncomfortable break up conversation you need to have with the guy who’s just not right for you?  Sorry, but you probably can’t, so just do what you need to do to take care of yourself.  Have the uncomfortable conversation.  Stop Googling gluten-free bakeries and go figure out what’s making you so uncomfortable that you need to hide in a jar of peanut butter you stole from the office kitchen.  Of course there will be circumstances that are out of your control, that you can do nothing about but just sit with and feel (and that’s a whole other blog post for another time), but for now, try making a list of concrete ways you can handle or improve whatever discomfort may be causing you to overeat (or causing you to weigh yourself, hate your body or pretend you have “food allergies” when you don’t).  Watch yourself naturally and effortlessly think about food less, by focusing on what’s really going on.        

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It happens. Anyone who struggles with emotional, compulsive, or you-name-it-dysfunctional eating (which I’m starting to learn includes most women to some degree or another) has found themselves knee deep in a bowl of brownie batter they can’t swim out of at some point or another. Some women are just better than others at not beating themselves up over it, and those women generally end up pulling themselves out of the bowl with a lot more ease (and, let’s face it, dignity). You are going to “fuck up” with food sometimes. Just accept it. The goal is to “slip” with less frequency and severity as time goes on (and, for the record, I’m defining “slip” as eating according to emotional or external triggers, rather than physical body cues – regardless of how much you ate, how many days it lasted, or how much water you’re retaining because of it).

Unfortunately, varying degrees of “imperfection” with food can trigger us to act out even more. This ranges from “fuck it” eating to “I hate myself” eating to “I am hopeless and literally do not know what to do with myself” eating (or extreme restriction/purging as the case may be…to each their own). The goal for most of us in the face of a “slip,” is to move on with our lives before we get to the point of being physically ill.  If you’re doing this on a regular basis, you’re in pretty good shape. If you regularly find yourself unable to love yourself out of a slip, and it spirals out of control to the point of severe physical discomfort, you pretty much need to rehab yourself into serious self-care mode – mental, physical and emotional.

The best advice I can offer to people in the depths of this particular breed of despair is to remind them that this too shall pass. Our only option when we’re overly full, or have made ourselves sick with food, is literally just to lie in our beds and wait it out, like we would the flu or any other physical ailment. Just take care of yourself.  If you had a daughter who was sick, how would you treat her? 

            Eventually you’ll get “there” – the point where you can actually move from your fetal position and maybe even get out of bed for a glass of water. Before you know it, you may even be willing to put clothes on and be seen in public (I know you’re thinking “let’s not get crazy,” but I kid you not on this one). The craziest part is knowing that one day, you’ll actually be hungry again – that your body is not broken forever, and that it’s working to restore balance right now, no matter how sick or tortured you may feel in the moment. You are burning that fuel up and letting it pass through your body, just by lying there in bed with a good romantic comedy. Let it pass. It’s a temporary state.  And be gentle with yourself – you’re healing, just like you would from the flu or a broken leg.  Relax and let your body do its thing. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll start to feel better. I swear, Netflix and tap water are the ultimate post-binge elixirs.