All posts by Isabel

The Pain of Weight Related Trauma

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All dieters have experienced the pain of body shame,  

either through having been body-shamed themselves—or through having borne witness to the shaming of other human beings,

both experiences of which are deeply imprinting and deeply traumatic. 

In a frantic attempt to avoid this pain (whether in our conscious memory or not), we become hypervigilant around food—

we obsess, we hang on for dear life, we do everything in our power to remain “in control” of our bodies, leading to ever-increasing anxiety and stress when “control” becomes more and more difficult to maintain.

Over time we become exhausted: completely unable to rest around food or panic-stricken when our bodies force us into rest (usually through the process of binge eating).

Having experienced this “craziness” around food, many eventually get to the point where they wish they could “let go,” but struggle to overcome their deeply embedded fear. 

Struggling with this body-image-related “post-trauma stress” (which is continually triggered by our fatphobic culture) many live paralyzed by fear despite longing to relax around food—unwilling to revisit and resolve the pain that triggered their obsession to begin with.

For many, resolving body-shame-related trauma will mean grieving—will mean deeply feeling and holding space for our pain—rather than recoiling from it.  

Can’t stop “grazing” or snacking? Don’t forget about THIS.

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As a dieter, I was the queen of “grazing,”

primarily because I was constantly trying to eat the least amount of food possible at every eating event—or at least stay within my boundary du jour—which left me perpetually unsatisfied, running back and forth to the kitchen continuously throughout the day.

It rarely occurred to me to go to a restaurant and order what I really wanted for dinner…right off the entrée menu…without having to ask for anything “on the side.”

Even when I was “off the wagon,” I rarely considered going to a restaurant and ordering something truly filling and satisfying,

it was more likely I’d rummage through the cabinets grabbing spoonfuls or handfuls until I felt sick…or go to a dark corner store with my sunglasses on and bulk buy…whatever.

Warm, filling, satisfying, non-diet MEALS

…with creamy sauces and ALL the food groups,
…with the intention of both nourishment AND enjoyment,
…something both physically filling and emotionally satisfying,

rarely occurred in my diet OR binge-eating worlds…I practically forgot them as options. 

I’ll never forget thinking to myself in early recovery: “it’s been years since I had a burrito for lunch.” 

Of course, a thick burrito—with all the trimmings—was exactly what I needed at that moment.

Filling, satisfying, delicious, and all the food groups—a burrito was about as close to “real food,” as I’d considered in a long time.

At that moment, I remembered that regular, hearty, filling meals…are a thing,

and maybe an important part of finding complete satiation after years of dieting and restriction.

If you’re struggling to develop a “normal” relationship with food after years of dieting, make sure to check out my free video training series for more info about ending the diet-binge cycle for good.

Also, make sure to check out this important post: How To Stop Binge Eating for good.

Fatphobia: The Ghost of Weight-Related Trauma

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Fatphobia—

that is,

your personal fear (phobia) of fatness;
or your judgments of yourself or others on the basis of size,

is not who you are. 

 

The fear, shame, or judgments you experience around weight are not fundamental to your being—but rather, expressions of an energy outside of yourself—an external force that invades your consciousness and hypnotizes you without your permission.

This energy—which is the ghost of both our personal and collective trauma around weight—is not who you are, but only a visitor to your psyche.

You may sometimes forget which voice is yours and which belongs to this visitor,

…which is why, when it comes up, we name it:

Fat Phobia.

We name it so we can call it something other than us.
We name it so we can recognize it is not our voice.
We name it so we can put space between “me” and “it.”

The first step in separating yourself from this voice, is 

naming it—
noticing it—
recognizing it—

is not You.  

Want to see more posts like this? Make sure to sign up for emails updates and/or sign up for my free video training series here.

A New Perspective on “Mindful Eating”

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To eat “mindfully” is to do one simple thing:

enjoy your food—for no other reason than the inherent value of pleasure itself.

Although the diet industry may suggest otherwise, mindfulness is not a method of self-control; its purpose is not to help you eat less or lose weight or “eat correctly” in any way whatsoever;

on the contrary, these intentions will only increase anxiety around food in the long run—turning “mindfulness” into a chore, a diet, into something to fail at.

If the term “mindful eating” rubs you the wrong way or triggers diet-mentality in you (as it did for me for many years), feel free to disregard the term entirely

and instead, simply remember: you have the right—and the privilege—to enjoy your food wholeheartedly; you are allowed to relish and savor the experience of eating without a narrative of self-judgment.

Active enjoyment of food is a radical act through which we restore the natural relationship between food and body—a relationship that is biologically designed for pleasure, playfulness, kindness, and love.  
 
In other words, “Mindful Eating” is a somewhat uninspired term to describe what is actually quite sexy: the sensual joy of tasting and feeling—presence to the deliciousness of food without rebuke.

To learn another perspective on food and eating, make sure to check out my free video training series at stopfightingfood.com