It’s not about “giving up” control…

photoI recently told a client who was struggling to “eat like a normal person,” that the key to “normal” eating (i.e. not dieting, not binge-ing, and generally not thinking about food too much unless hungry or grocery shopping) was to stop trying to control food and weight altogether. 

Give up.
Don’t even try. 

Of course this completely freaked her out. 

She immediately said to me:

“If I stopped trying to control my food and weight, all hell would break loose.” 

to which I replied…

“No… it’s because you’re trying to control your food that all hell is breaking loose.” 

After all,

Are you even in control right now? Is that why you’re working with me? Because you’re so good at controlling your food? Or are you here because you’re not succeeding at controlling food to begin with?

To be clear…

My suggestion is not to “stop controlling” food and weight — my suggestion is to “stop trying to control” food and weight — two very, very different things.

After all, you’re likely reading this email because you recognize your inability to control your food and weight in the long run anywaywhether you try to or not

What I’m really suggesting here is…

it’s the “trying” —
it’s the fighting for control that you simply don’t have —
that ultimately makes you eat more in the long-run, rather than less.

It’s your grasping for control — and your inevitable failure at achieving that control — that leaves you frustrated, anxious, ashamed of your perceived “failures,” and therefore, keeps you binge-eating.

Hope that clears things up for you guys.

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