Today I want to talk about the last diet I ever went on before I actually threw in the towel on dieting for real, and that was:

The “New Age Thinking Will Make Me Thin” Diet. 

Sometimes this diet goes by other names, like…

The “Spiritual Fulfillment Makes You Thin” Diet
The “Positive Thinking Makes You Thin” Diet
The “Body Acceptance Makes You Thin” Diet
The “Meditating, Writing In Your Journal, or Healing Your Relationship With Your Mom All Make You Thin” Diet

Or my personal favorite…The “When You Stop Trying To Lose Weight, You’ll Lose Weight” Diet.

Right…because the Universe is an evil genius and is actively trying to fuck with you.

I say, when you stop trying to lose weight you’ll just be happier and whatever weight you’re probably meant to be, but that’s another post for another time. 

While I do believe that healing your relationship with your mother, working towards more positive thinking, and/or making peace with your body are all probably good ideas whether you lose weight or not,

I’m deeply concerned that the weight loss motive and messaging of this “diet” keeps folks trapped in an oppressive system wherein true freedom around food and weight is shallow at best, and impossible for most. 

I worry this fantasy, that we can “have our self-love cake and control our weight too,” keeps women from fully enjoying true, honest, body acceptance, which in my opinion is a requirement for ending the diet-binge cycle and feeling truly comfortable around food.

I worry that women are continuing to judge their food, their behaviors, and generally experiencing a lot of emotional deprivation on account of their weight loss goals.

I worry that this way of thinking promotes the very dangerous and stigmatizing idea that one’s weight is an indicator of their mental health…when believe it or not, super happy, spiritually fulfilled and mentally healthful people come in all shapes and sizes.

I worry that women are being made to feel like failures when their attempts at improving their mental or spiritual health do NOT produce permanent weight loss. 

I worry that women are not doing the deep-level body image work that will ultimately free them, because they believe a magical-thinking solution will one day make them thinner.

Ultimately, I know that the New Age Thinking Diet is still an active attempt at body control, which could very well lead to frustration and rebellion (i.e. binge eating) in the long run.

If you’ve been told that thinness is a self-help-slogan-away and feel like you must be doing it wrong because permanent weight loss was not the result—please know you’re not alone, and there is another way to live…

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When I ask women why they want to lose weight, they almost always tell me…

“because I want to feel better in my body.” 

which is such a funny answer to me, because I know that how we feel in our body has nothing to do with our weight…I feel a million times better in my body today than I ever did at my lowest weight, and I’m at least 30lbs heavier now than I was then.

Here’s a little story to make my point even clearer: 

There are two woman, who both weigh 160lbs.

One woman recently lost 50lbs, she’s down from 210lbs; the other, recently gained 20lbs, she’s up from 140lbs.

They are the exact same size today.

But one feels thin, sexy and beautiful as she compares herself to her former self, and the other feels fat and unattractive.

Anyone who saw them both today would say they look exactly alike, although in their own minds, they feel completely opposite. 

What does this tell us about “feeling fat” vs. “feeling thin?” Well, for starters, anyone can “feel fat” or “feel thin” at any size. 

Your weight does not determine your body image;
your weight does not determine whether or not you “feel good in your body,”
your weight does not determine how sexy you get to feel,
your weight is actually irrelevant. 

It’s your perception of your weight that dictates how you feel about yourself. Not your weight itself. 

If two women can look identical, and feel completely different about themselves, that means, the “problem” of feeling badly about yourself is in your mind — not on your ass. (Tweet it).

This may seem obvious, but over and over again I hear women say that they “need” to lose weight in order to feel good about themselves.

And that’s just fucking bullshit. 

What if the answer to feeling badly about yourself wasn’t losing 10lbs; what if the answer to feeling badly about yourself was a shift in perception? 

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When did “intuitive eating” become the Hunger & Fullness Diet? Can someone please explain to me why the world has forgotten the “intuition” part of “intuitive eating?”

Because let me tell you, “intuitive eating” does NOT mean “eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full…or else.”

It means using that little voice inside of you—the same voice that reminds you to lock your door before you fall asleep, and not go home with that guy you met at some bar.

Your intuition is a product of your mind, body and spiritual knowing. It’s a part of your body—hence hunger and fullness play an important role in guiding it—but it’s not ONLY your body.

It’s also informed by logic, environment, as well as something entirely different — something metaphysical; something only you can know in yourself.

It’s the voice that tells you what to order at a restaurant when you’re not hungry at all, but want to enjoy food and festivities with friends.

(If you’ve emailed me and asked me what to do when “you’re not hungry” but have set dinner plans, you’re definitely on the “Hunger and Fullness Diet,” and not eating intuitively).

Bring the “intuition” back into your intuitive eating journey, and your world will change.

Not just your food—Your World.

Hint: Intuitive eating is practice for intuitive living, and vice versa. They can not be successfully separated. 

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