Planning a new diet used to literally soothe me of my greatest feelings of anxiety and hopelessness.
Whenever I believed I was ‘on my way’ to weight loss,
or perceived myself to be ‘winning’ at its pursuit,
I felt safe—
like I could finally get some ground under my feet,
like everything was going to be okay;
I felt powerful—
like I was gonna be someone,
like life was gonna do my bidding.
For all the hullabaloo about emotional eating (my thoughts on this here), emotional eating doesn’t even compare to how mind-altering, and ultimately habit-forming, the pursuit of thinness really is.
And if you don’t believe me—I dare you to give it up.
Stop trying to make yourself thinner…stop trying to make your body look a certain way…and then tell me how dependent you really are on this drug called “weight control.”
The highs, and the come-downs, are intense;
lest we forget about the come-downs…
the painful rebounds,
the excruciating feelings of failure,
the anxiety of needing to ‘keep it up,’
of slipping, of hanging on by our fingernails,
and the increasing and progressive hopelessness
we feel with every spin round the cycle,
like most addicts…we too often forget about the come-downs when in the grips of a trigger.
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